Shadow Tones
by Thundergryphon
Summary: 1x2 Heero tries to stop Duo from cutting, but ends up doing it himself. Can they help each other and finally admit their feeling? Yaoi
1. Cut

Disclaimer: Wished I owned them...sadly, I don't :o(  
  
Warnings: Angst, cutting, language, yaoi  
  
Author's note: Yes, I know stories like this have been done before.  
But it's been stuck in my head, so I finally had to write it down. This will eventually be yaoi, so be aware. I love rewivews nudge nudge!  
  
Shadow Tones by: Thundergryphon  
  
Duo looked at the blood. His blood. He watched it run down his arm into the sink. When the flow stopped, he took the razor blade and made several fresh marks on his arm.  
He had been cutting for the past few years. He couldn't stop; he needed the pain, to make sure he was alive.  
  
"Why do I do this to myself? Why can't I stop?"  
  
He put the razor down. Enough for tonught. He looked at his left arm.  
Between the old and new marks, it was hard to see any untouched skin.  
His right arm was no better off. His legs had faint hints of those times he had cut both his arms, but needed more.  
  
"I must be some kind of freak to do this. Why can't I stop?"  
  
Duo washed his arm off and headed to his room as if nothing was wrong. He layed down on his bed. He stared at the ceiling for the next three hours, thinking of only two things: whether or not to end his life, and Heero.  
  
"Heero...of only you knew how I feel about you. But who could ever love a freak like me? You deserve someone so much better than me.  
I think...no, I know I'll end my life this week. Everyone would be much happier without me anyway."  
This revelation did not bring Duo as much comfort as he had hoped. He settled into a restless sleep.  
  
Sorry this is so short...the next few chapters are kinda long. 


	2. Something's Wrong

Disclaimer: Wished I owned them...sadly, I don't :o(  
  
Heero groaned as the sun hit his pale face. He definitly did not want to get up. He had been having the most wonderful dream about Duo and...  
  
"Shit."  
  
This was the third time this week he needed to change his bed sheets.  
  
"Damned horomones; why can't you ever keep quiet?"  
  
Heero changed his sheets and went to take a shower. As he walked into the bathroom he shared with Duo, he glanced at the sink. Very faint blood drops were visible.  
  
"What the hell? They can't be from Duo, but he was the last one to use the bathroom last night."  
  
Heero pondered this as he stepped into the shower. Duo had been acting a bit strange lately. Heero knew Duo wasn't as happy as he pretended to be.  
  
"He wouldn't resort to self-inflicted pain, would he? I mean, this is Duo...he's supposed to be the happy one. Buy I guess he's not really happy, is he?"  
  
Heero sighed. What should he do?  
  
When Heero arrived at the kitchen for breakfast, he was suprised to find that Duo was not there.  
  
"Good morning Heero." "Morning Quatre."  
  
Heero sat down with the others. "Does anyone think Duo had been acting strange?"  
  
"Duo's always been strange," replied Wufei.  
"I mean stranger than usual?"  
"No." "Not really." "No."  
  
Heero growled. They were all so stupid. Was he the only one who noticd something was wrong?  
"I'm going for a walk."  
  
Pain greeted Duo when he awoke. Ohh well, it'll be all over by tonight. Should he leave a note? Maybe.  
  
Duo sat up and looked at his arms. It filled him with disgust everytime he saw what he did to himself. He just couldn't stop.  
  
The pain made him feel alive. It felt good. Pain was good. It took away the sadness for a while.  
  
Duo sighed. He figured he's better eat something since he was weal from blood loss. Not that it really matter...he'd probably be dead before the day was through.  
  
He got dressed and some how managed to stuble down the stairs. On his was to the kitchen he was stopped by Trowa.  
  
"Duo, can I ask you something?"  
"Sure, I guess."  
"Is everything alright?"  
"Yeah...why?"  
"Well, Heero asked us if we noticed that you were acting strangely."  
  
"I think Heero needs to spend less time on that lap top and more time in the real world, 'cause I'm perfectly fine."  
  
"Well okay. You know you can always talk to any of us about anything."  
"Yeah, I know. Where's Heero?"  
"He went for a walk."  
"Thanks."  
  
Duo went to find the one he loved. He just wanted to see Heero one more time before he ended his life.  
  
Are you liking it so far? I hope so. Not that anyone cares, but it took me almost a year to write this story. I started it, then lost my book for about 6 months before I foud it. I'm always loosing things. 


	3. The Deer

Disclaimer: Wished I owned them...sadly, I don't :o(  
  
NOTE: The slashy stuff is going to come in in chapter 7, so stay tuned. You won't have to wait much longer.  
  
Heero had a half-hour start ahead of Duo. Of all the mansions Quatre owned, he liked this one the best. The house itself was pretty small,  
but the land went on for acres.  
  
Heero was heading for his favorite spot. He'd discovered it a few months ago, and came here when he could.  
  
It was a quiet patch of meadow where the deer often ate. Heero loved watching the deer. Something about them made him seem almost peaceful.  
  
He watched as his favorite buck, Genki Ippai [Frisky] chased a blue and purple butterfly. Amamizu [Rainwater], his mate, kept a watchful eye on their little fawn. Heero was still not sure what to name her. Nothing seemed to fit.  
  
The sun was almost overhead. Must be near noon.  
  
Duo really had no clue where Heero was. He was just wondering around hoping luck was with him. He caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye. It was the most beautiful doe he'd ever seen. She paused and looked at him with her big brown eyes.  
  
"Hey girl," whispered Duo.She looked at him for a few seconds, then turned to walk away. After a few feet, she stopped and looked back at Duo as if to ask why he wasn't following.  
  
"Alright, I'm coming. Where are we going?"  
  
She ignored his question and started walking again. Duo followed quietly for a while. Suddenly, she sped up.  
  
"Hey, slow down!"  
  
Despite his speed, Duo soon lost sight of the doe. However, he had reached a meadow. Sitting atop a hill was Heero.  
  
Duo stood there watching Heero. It looked like he was watching the deer. Slowly, Duo made his way over the where Heero was sitting.  
  
Heero looked up. "Ohh, Duo. What are you doing here?"  
"Just going for a walk," Duo lied.  
"Hmm. Well, you might as well join me."  
  
Duo sat down. "What are you doing?"  
"Watching the deer."  
"Ohh."  
They sat in silence for a while.  
  
"See that buck?" Heero pointed to a large deer over towards the right.  
"Yeah."  
"That's Genki Ippai. He's the leader of the herd."  
"Doesn't that mean 'Frisky'?"  
Heero looked at Duo curiously.  
"I know some Japanese."  
"Ohh."  
  
Heero pointed to a doe over to the left.  
"That's his mate, Amamizu."  
"Rainwater?"  
"Yes. That's their fawn over there."  
  
"What's her name?"  
"Dunno. I can't find one that fits her."  
  
Duo just looked at the family. They looed so happy.  
  
"Duo?"  
"Huh?"  
"I ment to ask you; this morning I saw faint blood drops in the sink.  
Do you know what they're from?"  
  
Duo hesitated, the fear evident in his eyes.  
"No."  
  
"You're lying." Heero had been aware of Duo's depressions for a while,  
but just now it suddenly occured to him that Duo might be in more trouble than he thought.  
  
"N-no, I'm not."  
"Then let me see your arm."  
"I'm fine."  
"No, you're not."  
  
Heero grabbed Duo's arm and pulled up his sleeve. What he saw made him want to throw up.  
  
Red slashed lined Duo's arm, it being nearly impossible to see any untouched skin. old scars and new scars criss-crossed making strange patterns.  
  
Heero stared wide-eyed at Duo.  
"What in hell possessed you to do this?!"  
  
Duo lowered his eyes and shrugged.  
"I dunno."  
  
"Yes, you do know. Duo...you need help."  
Duo jerked his arm free from Heero.  
"I'm fine."  
  
"Stop denying it."  
"I'm not...I am fine."  
"You're obviously not."  
  
Duo stood up. "I don't need to listen to this...I'm perfectly fine."  
  
"Duo..."  
"Just leave me alone." Duo took off into the woods.  
  
Heero knew he had absolutly no chance of catching him. He just hoped Duo would come back home.  
  
Oooo, will Duo come back? Will Heero name the baby deer? These answers and more withing the next 3 chapters. 


	4. Lost

Disclaimer: Wished I owned them...sadly, I don't :o(  
  
Duo stopped after ten minutes of running. Nothing looked familiar.  
"Great, I'm lost. Not that anyone cares. I wonder if there's a lake I can drown myself in."  
  
He picked a direction and stared walking. As Duo's luck would have it, he ended up at the manion. "Of course...", he muttered. Duo sighed and looked up at the sky.  
  
"Man, I've been out here for hours. I bet I missed dinner too. Probably no one noticed anyway."  
  
He stepped insode. He has to go through the living room to get to the steps that lead to the bedrooms. There, sitting in a cahir, was Heero. "We need to talk." Duo continued walking. "There's nothing to talk about." Heero stood up and grabbed Duo by the arm. Duo winced in pain.  
  
"See, you're obviously not fine." "For the last fucking time, I am FINE!!" Duo kicked Heero in the shin and ran upstairs. Heeto stood there, dumbstruck. Duo kicked him. Duo actually kicked him. Finally,  
it sunk in.  
  
"What should I do? I was never trained for this. Why Duo? Why is this happening to him? I'm depressed too, but I would never do something like he's doing."  
  
Heero paced around for a while. Perhaps he could talk to Duo while he had him cornered in his room. Heero started up the stairs.  
  
Duo layed on his bed with a blade placed against his wrist. A few flicks, and he could end it all. Why shouldn't he do it? He was depressed, he was miserable, he was lonely. No one understood. No one.  
And no one cared wither. If they did, they would have noticed that something was wrong months ago.  
  
Just then there was a knock on the door. It had to be Heero.  
"Go away," whined Duo. "I don't need your help." "I just want to talk,"  
came the reply.  
  
Duo smirked. "You want to talk? You? The one who barely says anything,  
who is constantly locked in his room on his laptop, the one who always tells me to shut up when I'm talking. You always ignor me and insult me. Why in the world would you want to talk to me?!?"  
  
Heero knew Duo wasn't in a good mood, but the words still stung.  
"I-I'm sorry Duo." "Yeah, well, it's a little late for sorry. A few years too late in fact."  
  
Silence.  
Heero did not know what to say. Duo was acrually surpised Heero apologised. Wasn't he the perfect soldier with no emotions?  
  
Duo looked at the blade pressed against his wrist. He was begining to have second thoughts again. He looked up and saw Heero walk in.  
  
"...My door was locked..."  
  
"I picked the lock," replied Heero with a bit of triumph in his voice.  
"I didn't know you could do that." "I learned from watching you."  
  
Duo lowered his head and sighed. Heero closed the door and walked over to where Duo was sitting on his bed.  
  
"Give me the razor." Heero held out his hand. "No." Duo hugged it to his chest. "Duo, please. I just want to help."  
  
"No one can help me," said Duo quietly. "Yes, they can. There are doctors and psychatrists and councilors who-." "You don't seem to fucking understand Heero." Duo stood up to face him. "I don't need or want help from those fucking people. They don't know me, so they don't fucking care what happens to me. No one does. I've been like this for years, and no one even noticed. No one loves me, that's why I'm better off dead. Everyone would be much happier. I'm tired of being alone and miserable and treated like shit."  
  
By this time Duo had raised his vioce quite a bit and was on the verge of tears. He looked Heero in the eyes and lowered his voice to a whisper. "I just want it to all go away." That said, he broke down crying.  
Heero was stunned to silence. He never though Duo would be this bad. He gently tool Duo in his arms. Heero held Duo for a good five minutes. Duo felt truly safe for the first time in his life. He wished he could have Heero hold him forever.  
  
Duo finally calmed down and stopped crying. "I feel so lost," he quietly whispered in Heero's ear. Heero sighed and sat down with Duo on the bed.  
"Duo, I know you don't want to talk to the professionals about this. I'm your friend, and I do care. This time I promise to listen if you want to talk about it with me.  
  
Heero looked Duo in the eyes. "This is your time. You can say whatever you want. I promise I will listen and not interrupt until you're finished."  
  
"You mean it?" "Yes, I do."  
Duo leaned against Heero's shoulder. "I guess I should start at the very begining." Duo closed his eyes for a minute before starting his story.  
  
"I've been an orphen as long as I can remember. Hell, I don't even remember my parents. But I lived with other war orphens like me. We had to steal to survive. It was a hard life. No one wanted us. Then one day they decided to demolish our house. They said a church would take us in. I didn't want to go, but they made us. It was scary. But Father Maxwell and Sister Helen were nice. And I was happy for once. But that all changed one day. The war was still raging on. A group of military personal had taken shelter in the church. Father kept preaching about peace, but they wouldn't listen and they started to get violent. They wanted mobil suits to fight. I told then I would steal one for them if they agreed to leave the church. I went, and succeeded. When I got back I found that the whole chuch had been destroyed and everyone killed.  
  
They went back on their promise, and everyone I had ever cared about was dead. Nothing mattered anymore. I just started running, and I didn't stop. Evertually I found a home. A gang leader named Solo took me in. His gang took care of me. For a few years, I was happy. Then a viruis started going around the L2 colony. Out of everyone in the gang, I was the only one not to get it. No one survied it.  
I lost the second family I had. I lost everything. The growing depression inside of me just exploded. I started cutting to control the pain. I feel so alive when I cut. I control my pain. No one else controls it but me. It's addicting, cutting. You can't stop, you need the control. I can't stop, I need it..."  
  
Heero held Duo close. No one deserved to go through that. Especially Duo. They stayed like that for a while. It was Heero who broke the silence.  
  
"I care. Please let me help you." He took Duo's hand. "You don't have to go through this alone. If you want, I'll stay by you."  
  
Duo wiped the tears away from his eyes. "Everyone always leaves me." "I won't." "Can you promise that? Can you swear you will always be here? Can you?!"  
  
Heero was silent. "I didn't think so," said Duo. Heero blinked.  
"I...I didn't say anything."  
  
"Exactly. If you really ment it, you would have said yes."  
"Duo..." "No no, I understand. Forever is a long time."  
"But Duo-" "Just drop it."  
  
Duo stood up. "Listen, please don't tell the others." "I promise." "Hey, where are the other?" "Went shopping, I think." "Ohh. Well, I'm starving. I'm gonna go grab a snack."  
  
Duo walked out, acting like his old facade. Heero sat there. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He could have told Duo he'd give up everything just to be with him. But no, he just sat there like an idiot. Heero sighed. Nothing ever seemed to go his way.  
  
Making his way to his room, Heero began to ponder what Duo had just told him. About controling your pain. Heero had a lot of pain in his past too. Cutting...was it really like Duo said it was? A way to control your life? A way to be in control? Suicide.  
The word rung in Heero's mind. How many times had he though of doing it? But he did just talk Duo out of it.  
  
"Damn, what is wrong with me. I don't need more pain or death to deal with my problems. Still..."  
Maybe Duo was on to something. What was it like anyway, to cut yourself till you bleed? Heero suddenly turned and headed toward the bathroom. Only half aware of what he was doing, he picked up a razor and made a few cuts on the virgin skin of his arm.  
  
gasp Not Heero too! What will Duo think of this??? The next chapter is a bit short, but chapter 6 and 7 will be pretty long to make up for it.  
How am I doing with this story by the way? 


	5. Duo's Habit

Disclaimer: Wished I owned them...sadly, I don't :o(  
  
A great big thanks goes out to my reviewers: randompancake Cammy-Girl foxy-comic-death Lily  
  
Sorry for the shortness of this chapter. As I said before, 6 and 7 will be pretty long to make up for this. Has anyone bought the Gravitation DVD yet?  
I can't wait to get thirty bucks to waste on it. Okay, waste isn't a great word.  
I seriously love Gravitation. Go read/watch it if you haven't yet!  
  
Two days. Two days since Heero and Duo had talked. Heero now understood. He understood Duo's need for pain. It was like a drug, addictive. Heero was now doing what he wanted Duo to stop doing. But he couldn't, couldn't stop. He felt alive. He felt he was repaying all those people he killed. For once he controled what happened in his life. These new feelings enthralled and scared Heero.  
  
He looked at his arm. Cuts now crossed all over each other. Just looking at them gave him a thrill of exhileration. For him, cutting was like a high.  
  
"Heh. I guess I'm a hypocrite now. I tell Duo to stop this, and I end up doing it. What a fucking great friend I am."  
  
Heero wondered what Duo would think. Things between then had pretty much gone back to normal. No one suspected anything.  
What would they do anyway, if they found it was him and Duo?  
  
"Heero, dinner," called Quatre. "Coming." Heero layed on his bed for another minute. His life was screwed up. All of their lives were screwed up. Maybe not as bad as Duo's, but still. He got up and walked down towards the kitchen. Stupidly, he forgot to throw on a longsleeve shirt.  
  
About half-way thourgh dinnerm Quatre suddenly noticed the cuts on Heero's arm.  
  
"Heero, what happened to your arm?  
"Nothing," said Heero rather quickly. He hid both of his arms under the table.  
  
"Heero-," started Trowa. "Nothing is wrong!" He stood up to face them. Quatre looked alarmed. "Heero, if you have a problem..."  
Heero stood up angrly. "I'm not the one with a fucking problem.  
Duo is. He's 10 times worse than I am, so don't tell me I have a problem!!!"  
  
Duo stared as Heero with tears in his eyes. "You bastard. You swore you wouldn't tell anyone."  
  
"Well, what did you want me to do? It's your fault this happened to me!!"  
  
"How?," screamed Duo. "How the fuck is it my fault?!"  
"It just is! You can't understand!"  
  
"Fine," shouted Duo. "I know when I'm not wanted. Heero,  
you'll be sorry when I'm gone!!!"  
With that, he ran out the door, slamming it behind him.  
Heero headed out the opposite door.  
  
Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei just sat there speechless.  
  
Heero stormed off to his special meadow. Upon arriving,  
he threw himself down on the grass and cried. When has his life become so confusing and fucked up? He has never thought of cutting before, but Duo had intriged him.  
  
Heero loved Duo. He wanted to know how Duo felt so he could understand him. Love requires understanding. Why couldn't Duo see how much he cared? Sure, Heero wasn't the most open person in the world, but Duo knew him better than anyone else did. Surely he had picked up on something.  
  
"He probably hates me now," muttered Heero. "I bet he'll never want to see me again. I don't blame him. I always manage to screw things up."  
  
His deer had come to graze a few from Heero. They trusted him now. The little female fawn gently nuzzled him, almost as if she understood his dispair.  
  
Heero gentlty stroked her muzzle. "I still need to find a name for you sweetheart." She made a gentle humming sound.  
"Should I go find Duo and appologise? I mean, I did break my promiose. And knowing him, he won't take this lightly.  
I-I fear for his life."  
  
The fawn licked his nose as if to say 'good luck'. Heero got up and started running in the direction Duo had gone,  
hoping he wasn't too late. 


	6. Found

Disclaimer: Wished I owned them...sadly, I don't :o(  
  
Yay, a long chapter just like I promised!! I'm sure you're all heart-attacking with joy.  
  
Duo sat on the bank of a creek. How could Heero do this to him? He had trusted Heero with his horrible secret. And what did Heero mean when he said it was Duo's fault he was cutting? Bastard probably just needed a scapegoat.  
  
Duo sighed. He just couldn't take life anymore.  
  
"Might as well put a stop to all of this shit once and for all." Just as he was about to step into the water, he spied the remains of an old rowboat nearby. Curious, he crept closer. There was a good length of rope left in the bottom. Duo though for a minute, then grabbed the rope. He walked for a bit, looking for a tall,  
sturdy tree.  
  
Heero ran as fast as he could. He had really screwed up. He needed to fix his mistake.  
  
Rounding a corner, he spotted Duo looking up at a big oak tree, and holding a rope in his hand. Heero found his second wind and sped up.  
  
"Duo, wait!!!"  
  
Duo looked up and saw Heero running towards him.  
Ohh, what now? Did he forget to blame Duo for something else?  
  
"You can't do this," panted Heerp as he finally reached Duo.  
  
"Any why not? I have ne desire to live, and now everyone knows it. Besides, the world would be a much better place without me."  
  
"How can you say that Duo?! We would all be devistated if something happened to you. We really care about you."  
  
"Sure they do...that's why they're all right here, telling me how much they care."  
  
"Duo..." "Go back Heero. Just go!" "No, I won't. I made a mistake, and I intend to fix it."  
  
"Don't bother, it's to late for me." "Duo,  
just think about this for a minute."  
  
"I've been thinking about this for a few months Heero. There's nothing on this planet for me." Duo threw one end of the rope over the tree. "Duo!" Herro grabbed onto Duo's wrist.  
  
"Please, don't do this. I made a terrible mistake,  
and I swear I'll make it up to you. I'll do anything you want me to, just please don't do this."  
  
Duo looked at Heero who was close to tears.  
"Why did you tell them?" he asked softly.  
"I-I don't know. I guess I panicled. I just wanted to help you so badly. I guess I thought maybe if people knew, they could help you too.  
"I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. Please don't leave me."  
  
Duo let go of the rope. He sat down on the ground and pulled Heero down with him.  
  
"So tell me, why is it my fault that you're cutting?"  
  
"It's complicated to explain. I'm not entirely sure myself." Heero pulled himself into Duo's arms and snuggled close to him.  
  
"You know, you're not the only one out of the five us who's depressed Duo. Wuite frankly, I never knew how to with it. Then you told me how cutting made you feel. I thought maybe I'd try it so I could feel what you feel, and understand you better. I thought if I could understand you we could get closer. I want you Duo. I love you.  
I should bave told before, but it's true. I just wanted to understand, I;m sorry I blamed you.  
Won't you please forgive me??"  
  
Duo looked down into Heero's cobalt eyes and every wall that he had built up came crashing down.  
  
"Of course I'll forgive you Heero. I love you too."  
  
"Really? You mean it?" "You know I never lie."  
  
Heero looked at Duo and slowly leaned up. Duo leaned down, and their lips met. Heero was in heaven. He had been dreaming about this moment for ages. Duo tasted better than he had imagined.  
  
Just as they pulled away, a clap of thunder could be heard in the distance.  
  
Heero stood up. "I think we shoulf start heading back." "Alright." Heero pulled Duo to his feet.  
  
It started to drizzle as they made their wat out if the forrest. "Hey Heero, isn't that you're little deer friend?" asked Duo as he pointed to the fawn they had just come upon.  
  
"Yes, that's her." "Have you thought of a name for her yet?" Heero smiled. "Yes, I have. I'm going to call her Nozomi." "Hope...that's a perfect name for her."  
  
Just a heads up, the yaoi bit starts in the next chapter. I know that's what you've all been waiting for (you pervs ;o) ).  
  
The more reviews I get, the more slashy chapters I will write. nudge nudge  
Who knows, maybe I'll even dedicate a chapter to the love affair of Trowa and Quatre. Duo sat on the bank of a creek. How could Heero do this to him? He had trusted Heero with his horrible secret. And what did Heero mean when he said it was Duo's fault he was cutting? Bastard probably just needed a scapegoat.  
  
Duo sighed. He just couldn't take life anymore.  
  
"Might as well put a stop to all of this shit once and for all." Just as he was about to step into the water, he spied the remains of an old rowboat nearby. Curious, he crept closer. There was a good length of rope left in the bottom. Duo though for a minute, then grabbed the rope. He walked for a bit, looking for a tall,  
sturdy tree.  
  
Heero ran as fast as he could. He had really screwed up. He needed to fix his mistake.  
  
Rounding a corner, he spotted Duo looking up at a big oak tree, and holding a rope in his hand. Heero found his second wind and sped up.  
  
"Duo, wait!!!"  
  
Duo looked up and saw Heero running towards him.  
Ohh, what now? Did he forget to blame Duo for something else?  
  
"You can't do this," panted Heerp as he finally reached Duo.  
  
"Any why not? I have ne desire to live, and now everyone knows it. Besides, the world would be a much better place without me."  
  
"How can you say that Duo?! We would all be devistated if something happened to you. We really care about you."  
  
"Sure they do...that's why they're all right here, telling me how much they care."  
  
"Duo..." "Go back Heero. Just go!" "No, I won't. I made a mistake, and I intend to fix it."  
  
"Don't bother, it's to late for me." "Duo,  
just think about this for a minute."  
  
"I've been thinking about this for a few months Heero. There's nothing on this planet for me." Duo threw one end of the rope over the tree. "Duo!" Herro grabbed onto Duo's wrist.  
  
"Please, don't do this. I made a terrible mistake,  
and I swear I'll make it up to you. I'll do anything you want me to, just please don't do this."  
  
Duo looked at Heero who was close to tears.  
"Why did you tell them?" he asked softly.  
"I-I don't know. I guess I panicled. I just wanted to help you so badly. I guess I thought maybe if people knew, they could help you too.  
"I'm so sorry. I never meant for this to happen. Please don't leave me."  
  
Duo let go of the rope. He sat down on the ground and pulled Heero down with him.  
  
"So tell me, why is it my fault that you're cutting?"  
  
"It's complicated to explain. I'm not entirely sure myself." Heero pulled himself into Duo's arms and snuggled close to him.  
  
"You know, you're not the only one out of the five us who's depressed Duo. Wuite frankly, I never knew how to with it. Then you told me how cutting made you feel. I thought maybe I'd try it so I could feel what you feel, and understand you better. I thought if I could understand you we could get closer. I want you Duo. I love you.  
I should bave told before, but it's true. I just wanted to understand, I;m sorry I blamed you.  
Won't you please forgive me??"  
  
Duo looked down into Heero's cobalt eyes and every wall that he had built up came crashing down.  
  
"Of course I'll forgive you Heero. I love you too."  
  
"Really? You mean it?" "You know I never lie."  
  
Heero looked at Duo and slowly leaned up. Duo leaned down, and their lips met. Heero was in heaven. He had been dreaming about this moment for ages. Duo tasted better than he had imagined.  
  
Just as they pulled away, a clap of thunder could be heard in the distance.  
  
Heero stood up. "I think we shoulf start heading back." "Alright." Heero pulled Duo to his feet.  
  
It started to drizzle as they made their wat out if the forrest. "Hey Heero, isn't that you're little deer friend?" asked Duo as he pointed to the fawn they had just come upon.  
  
"Yes, that's her." "Have you thought of a name for her yet?" Heero smiled. "Yes, I have. I'm going to call her Nozomi." "Hope...that's a perfect name for her.  
  
Yay! The deer has a name.  
Just a heads up, the slashy bits start in the next chapter. I know that's what you've all been waiting for (you pervs ;o) ).  
  
The more reviews I get, the more slashy stuff I'll write. nudge nudge Who knows, maybe I'll even dedicate a chapter to the love affair of Trowa and Quatre. Poor Wufei, he really doesn't have anyone, does he? 


	7. Affections

Disclaimer: Wished I owned them...sadly, I don't :o(

A big thank you goes out to all of my reviwers:

Lizzardrock Ash Demonskid Sheepgirl Cammy-Girl randompancake foxy-comic-death Lily 

A/N: I am soooo sorry this chapter took so long. It's my first year at college and I've been very busy. The slashy stuff starts here. It's my first time writting a lemon, so I'm sorry if it's writtng oddly.

They managed to make it home before the heavens broke free. "Where have you two been!"exclaimed a very worried Quatre as they entered the living room.

Heero and Duo just looked at each other. "We just had some issues we needed to take care of with eachother and ourselves," said Heero.

"And I take it you've worked everything out"  
They both nodded. "That's wonderful, but we've been worried sick about the two of you!"

Heero and Duo hung their heads. "We're real sorry Quatre," said Duo. "It won't happen again"  
Quatre hugged both of them. "I'm just glad you guys worked everything out...I don't know what we'd do without either of you."

After finally escaping from Quatre, Duo and Heero made their way up to Heero's room.

Once inside, Heero layed down on his bed. "You know, you real ly scared me today Duo."

"I did?" "Yes, you did." Duo looked at Heero and sat down next to him. "I'm sorry.  
I honestly didn't think anyone cared that much about me." Heero rolled on top of Duo. "Well, now you people do care. So, no more suicide attempts, right?"

"I won't if you won't." "Deal." Heero leaned foward and kissed Duo. Duo wrapped his arms around Heero and kissed him back. Heero slowly slipped his hand under Duo's shirt and traced abstract patterns on his stomach. Duo squirmed under Heero and deepend their kiss.

Heero took this as a good sign and moved his hand to Duo's chest and started fingering his nipples. Duo moaned a little and slid his hand down the back of Heero's pants, storking his firm ass. Heero growled a little and broke off the kiss, then began to bite Duo's neck.

Duo grinned and started to slide his hand towards the front of Heero's pants. Heero grabbed Duo's hand and removed it, bitting harder. Duo could feel Heero's growing hardness against his, and he moaned with delight. Meanwhile, Heero had finished marking Duo, and began to rub his cock against Duo's while he took off Duo's shirt. Duo wrapped his legs around Heero's waist to get more friction. Heero began to gently suck Duo's nipples. Duo was somewhat aware of his poor cock straining against his pants. "Heero...," he moaned. "Shh baby." Heero removed his own shirt, shoes,  
and socks. Duo somehoe manged to kick off his shoes as well.

Heero made quick work of removing Duo's pants and boxers. Duo practically ripped off the rest of Heer's clothing.

Neither was dissapointed with what they saw. Heero layed on top of Duo and began licking downward.  
Duo shivered under Heero. Heero grinned and stopped licking. "Don't stop," whined Duo. 

"Patience," chickled Heero. He leaned up and kissed Duo. "You're gonna have to lay on your stomach love"  
Duo blushed but complied. Heero lightly ran his fingernails down Duo's back, causing a light shudder.  
Heero grinned sadistly put more pressure on his fingers.  
Duo moaned and squirmed beneath Heero. Heero responded by running his tongue all down Duo's back.

"Heeeero," moaned Duo. "Yes?" Heero whispered into his ear.  
"Need you now." Heero pushed himself up and looked around his room. He grabbed a bottle of lotion from his dresser and poured some on his fingers. Gently, he stuck one into Duo. He gave Duo a minutes to adjust, then he added a second finger, then a third.

Duo moaned again. "Cant' wait...much lonter," he panted. "Are you ready for this?"

Duo nodded. Heero removed his fingers and slowly replaced them with his throbbing cock. Duo bit back a cry of pain. 

Finally, Heero's member was engulfed by Duo's virgin hotness.  
Heero let out a sharp breath. This was wonderful beyond description. How could have waited so long for this?

He allowed Duo a minute to adjust to his size, then he began to slowly thrust in and out in a steady rhythem. Duo arched his back and pulled himself onto his hands and knees so Heero could get a better angle.

"Faster..." Duo begged. "Now!" Heero picked up the pace and started running his nails lightly down Duo's sides.

They both began moving and panting in rhythem with eachother.  
Heero sensed that the time was drawing near and grabbed Duo's cock.  
He stroked it in time with his own thrusts.

Both felt their climax mounting and their breathing became heavy.  
A rush of pleasure, then pure white bliss. Duo shuddered under Heero's lean hard body. This feeling was amazing; indescribable.

Heero gave a few more thrusts before withdrawing himself from Duo. They both collapsed in a mess of limbs. Duo pulled Heero onto his chest and gave him a long kiss.

Heero sighed and reluctantly pulled away. He let out a yawen and layed his head on Duo's chest. Duo stroked Heero's hair. "Love ya," he whispered.  
"Love you too", Heero whispered back. They were both asleep in minutes.

So, I'm thinking of doing one last wrap up chapter. Sound good? 


	8. Love

Disclaimer: Don't own 'em :( 

A/N: This is just a short cute chappy to wrap up the story, since a few of you asked for another chapter.

This chapter's dedicated to every single person who reviewed this story. Thanks so much for sticking with me. hugs

5 months later...

"Duo, it's beautiful!" exclaimed Quatre looking at the ring on Duo's finger.  
"Yeah, who knew Heero had such great taste in jewelry."

Trowa and Wufei wondered over, drawn by the excitment. "What's going on over here?" asked Wufei. "Heero bought me a promise ring!" Duo waved his hand around. "Hold still Duo, we can't see," said Trowa.

Both pilots examined the ring on Duo's finger. It was a silver band with three little saphire stones mounted on the top. "It's inscribed too," smiled Duo with pride.

His three friends just smiled. They were all so relieved that Heero and Duo had managed to work things out between themselves. They were also glad that most of the UST between them was gone too. Heero and Duo had been inseperable for the past five months, and the other three were glad to have it that way. Though they now had the need to discuss getting certain people's rooms soundproofed.

Heero sat on the slope of the roof that his bedroom windwo led out too. He was watching on the more beautiful sunsets. The ones with purple, blue, and pink were the best in his opinion. Moments later he felt two arms encircle him from behind.

"Good evening Duo." "Aww, how'd you know it was me?" Heero smiled. "After being friends with you for 2 years and lovers with you for five months, I'd certainly hope I'd know my own boyfriend."

Duo laughed. He moved to sit next to Heero, and snuggled up to him. Heero put his arm around his boyfriend. "Do you like your ring?" "Ohh Heero, I love it! It's perfect."

They watched the sky until the sun had totally disappeared. Heero leaned over and slowly kissed Duo, who happily welcome Heero into his mouth. They pulled apart after a few minutes. "I'm so glad we found each other," purred Duo. Heero smiled.  
"So am I. I can't imagine life without you."

After a while, the stars began to show their brilliant faces. Duo stared up at the many patterns in the sky. "Well, now that we're together, you know what we have to do next, don't you?" "Umm," relpied a confused Heero, "no, I don't. We're already been going out for five months, we've gone all the way, and we're more or less engaged. What else is left!"

Duo smiled. "We need to get Trowa and Quatre together!"

THE END

Thanks again for reading my story! I'm glad so many people stuck with it. I know I didn't update much, since it was my first year of college. But without my loyal readers, I wouldn't have a reason to write.

I'm taking a short break from the anime fandoms, and I'm planning to write some Star Trek TOS fics. I've got one up already.

Ja ne!


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